…the parched land shall become a pool, and the thirsty lands springs of water…(Isaiah 35:7)

I’m News to Me

The Return of the Northern Lights Blog

By Rex Goode

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With the growing support of Mitt Romney for President, a growing openness about homosexuality, and an internet media blitz about it, we are seeing more and more members of the Church who deal with same-sex attraction writing about it, appear in videos, even get interviewed by the news media.

It’s something I’ve been doing for a long time, but I’ve never really gotten the attention of the masses like some people have. I’m thinking of Mitch Mayne, Ty Mansfield, a lot of BYU students, and Mormons marching in parades.  Some of it, I can understand. For one, I’m not that photogenic, like my friend, Ty Mansfield.

Seriously, I don’t think that’s not the reason I haven’t caught on. I think it’s that I’m not controversial. I want to be. Really, I do. I just haven’t figured out how to be controversial and myself at the same time.

I mean, think about it. My bio is basically that I am a Mormon husband of one (woman), father of five amazing children, father-in-law to some great people, and grandfather of eight. Currently, I serve as a music director for sacrament meeting, high priest instructor, and first counselor in the stake Sunday School presidency. I also just happen to have been certifiably attracted to men my whole life. Some might call it gay. It’s not a word I choose to use for myself.

Those last two sentences are about the limit of me being controversial. I don’t really identify myself as what some people call ex-gay, either. How can you be an ex-something if you never thought of yourself as that something in the first place.

My mother had this thing she said about herself. “You’re not a has-been. You’re a never-was-a-once-was.” I’m about that average.

My mother wanted to be an actress. She once auditioned for The Music Man as one of those gossipy town ladies. She also wanted to be a Gothic Romance novelist, you know, the now-dead genre that has a pretty woman running in the night away from a dark, foreboding mansion. Somewhere in the stuff I have that she left behind is an unfinished manuscript.

I’m a lot like her.  Somewhere I have a couple of unfinished novel manuscripts. I also wanted to be an opera singer. Took lessons. See my Senior Recital. Like my mother, I’ve remained pretty much a talented obscurity.

I think that if I could come up with a really controversial thing to say or do, I could probably make it to the big time. I doubt it’s going to happen.

NorthStar is an organization for men and women who are affiliated with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who experience same-sex attraction.
So, I just keep blogging and remaining pretty average as a figure. For a few months, I was an author on the blog of the NorthStar organization. The blog was known as Northern Lights. Like a lot of things I do, it slipped into obscurity after a good run. I don’t know why.

The good news is that it is back with a new address: http://northstarlds.org/blog/. I’m on as one of the authors again. You can see my past posts here.

I might try being a little controversial there. I’m not good at it, but hope springs eternal, as they say.

 

1 person likes this post.

3 Responses to “I’m News to Me”

  1. Barbara Goode said:

    Rex, What you say here is definitely “controversial” to me!…First of all you have NEVER been “just another “average guy” …ANYONE who really knows you would agree with me! Anyone who has faced what you face and has the faith and self control to remain faithful as you have, is NOT the average guy. Whomever has the brains, wit, humor, and lovability (despite his stubborn orneriness ) has GOT TO BE an exceptional man! …..As far as I’m concerned you were and are a “Good(e) catch!… (Besides you’re too big to throw back! )LYF, Barb

  2. Ross said:

    Rex, you’ve made an impact on many lives. The mailing lists and this website have been a lifeline to me and others. Fame is not the same thing as exceptional. There are a lot of unexceptional people who are famous.

  3. Rex Goode said:

    Thanks, Ross. Nice of you to say.

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